On a discussion with Maximus, he mentioned that he's easily raging while playing online games. He finds himself have this strong desire in winning the game, and this leads to arguments with his teammate when his team are not performing up to the standard. Looking back now, he believes things will be so much different if he did not start those arguments.
Hi Dylan,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading the article which you have written on a personal problem faced by your partner. Here is some feedback that could help improve your article.
1) The article should begin with "In a discussion with Maximus" instead of "On a discussion"
2)- he mentioned that he raged easily while playing online games
- instead of "he mentioned that he's easily raging while playing online games."
3)He found that he has a strong desire to win the game
- instead of "He finds himself have this strong desire in winning the game"
Hope you find this feedback helpful and look forward to reading more articles from you in the future.
Best regards,
Brendan
Hi,
DeleteThank you Brendan, I will update accordingly.
Cheers
Wei Lun